Shelby Stidham

People Who Annoy Me

In life, there are always going to be people who annoy me, piss me off, make me extremely happy and make me laugh. Typically, those first two categories are always the same people, over and over. It seems like you never know the type of person who is going to make you happy and make you laugh, but you always know what type of people are going to piss you off.

1. The person behind you in line at the grocery store who rams their cart into your butt or stands an inch behind you. This person I truly do not understand. Will it kill you to back up one foot? Are you going to get your groceries any faster by standing on me heels? And finally, do you not notice that the back of your grocery cart is pushing my body? These people (and you know who you are) need to back the hell up.
2. The person who always knows more than you, no matter what. We’ve all met somebody who is truly a “know-it-all” and its always annoying. At first you try to ignore it but then you just want to punch them in the face. You could be an astronaut telling someone about what the moon was like, and somehow this Joe Schmo knows more about the moon than you do. You can typically find this quality in people who have ADD, a lot of free time and a love to be the center of attention. Being a “know-it-all” is all they have, I guess.
3. The person who can’t speak English. If you don’t speak English, you don’t bother me at all until you try to talk to me in America. If you can live your life in America without ever having to speak English, that’s fine. But I hate it when I am somewhere, doing something, being held up by that one person who doesn’t speak English and needs someone to come translate. I can’t imagine myself moving to France and not learning French. Sometimes I think there are a few people who speak English but don’t want to, so they act like they can’t. That pisses me off, too.
4. The person who is so aloof about everything that its condescending and rude. Haven’t you ever had to help someone while you were working that had really asshole responses to everything? They say “Whatever” instead of “Yes, that will work” and they hold out their hand and point to what’s in it and say “this” instead of describing what they are holding. An example of this type of person would be the following: I asked a chick who worked at the tanning bed which bed she thought I should use, since she knows a lot about that. Instead of giving me an educated answer, she said to me, “You can use whatever bed you like. The world is your oyster.” Bitch.
5. People who always want to stick it to you. Heaven forbid they ever make a mistake because when they do, you want to give them hell for weeks as revenge. This is the person who not only remembers every single thing you do and word you say, but nags at you all the time. Its the customer who wants to read back to you what the receipt says before they leave the store, the friend who reminds you that you said you’d help them move out no matter what came up, the person at work that takes your “yeah, maybe” as a reason to bug the shit out of you for the next week until you switch them shifts. It’s that person and that person annoys me.

I could keep going but then I’d seem like a pessimist, wouldn’t I? I’m really not. I just find myself often surrounded by people who are more annoying than not. Sometimes I want to tell these people how annoying they are, suggest they read a book on how to interact with humans, and teach them what it is to be patient. Or maybe its me just being a self-centered, easily annoyed jerk? No, that can’t be it.